stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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