the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize