oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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