I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize