everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
