So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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