My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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