Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
