Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
