my mouth tastes like poor choices
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
