He had one of those small greek statue penises
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
