it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
