This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
