ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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