Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you would pick up someone in the library
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
