I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
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