so that wasnt chicken after all
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
