I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
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