this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
