ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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