wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
