atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
