birth control should be required to get into college
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
