so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
