Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
