I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
