We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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