I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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