Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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