so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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