i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Randomize
