How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
