There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
