When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
