Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize