How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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