"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
