dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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