But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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