I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
