please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
