so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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