White coat. Heels.
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
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