I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize