I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
