I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
