You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
