so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
