I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
