I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize