they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I need water and some morals
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