in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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