new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
