The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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