yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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