He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
