so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize