been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
