help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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