so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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