thus making me awesome and them whores
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
