There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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