Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
