nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
birth control should be required to get into college
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
