I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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