I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
