Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I need water and some morals
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
